DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Everything I share is information gained through personal experience, professional help, and outside resources. It is your own personal responsibility to seek professional help and advice before implementing any life-altering practices. Everyone's mental health journey looks different. My story is just one of millions. If you are feeling lost, scared, alone, concerned, or just not right, I encourage you to connect with a mental health professional. Don't wait until it becomes a crisis.

*TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of Mental Illness & Suicidal Thoughts*

This is part two of my mental health journey.
If you missed part one, you can read it here.

For me, this newly found suicidal empathy was proof I needed help. But thanks to a personal connection’s bravery in the previous weeks, I knew where to start.

A SMALL STEP

After the church service ended, I walked up to her, with my husband by my side. Behind the last row of chairs, I discreetly asked for a moment.

She had posted on Facebook a few weeks before about her mental illness struggles and the therapist that was helping her. She had been vulnerable, open, and honest in sharing a mental health milestone with those in her social network.

As I sat at my computer screen and read her words, I found what had been missing for so long.

I saw a light in the darkness.

I felt hope.

I wasn’t alone.

Now on this Sunday morning, I stood in front of her knowing I was taking a step in the right direction. The tears fell and the words flowed out of my mouth as she listened. She was open and honest once again, sharing more details of her story. Then, she handed me a business card and gave me a name.

That moment… That’s where it all began to change.

NO MAGIC FORMULA

It was like a miracle - six months of sessions, and my entire life did a complete one-eighty.

Um, yeah, not even close.

As I sit here today, about five years of therapy later, my life does look different in some ways, but in other aspects, I am still the same.

Some of the highlights of this new chapter:

• I was officially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and drumroll please, bipolar disorder! And because I need to research everything, I discovered and suspected cyclothymia as the specific type, but wasn’t convinced as this classification is rare. However, through a series of events, a very-close blood-relative revealed to me their specific cyclothymia diagnosis and treatment, and confirmed I most likely had inherited it.

• A few years into therapy, after much encouragement and patience from my counselor, and tears of literal terror, I decided medication was necessary. I couldn’t get control of my mind and moods enough to combat the pattern of lies my illness was telling me. I needed medical intervention. This October, it will be two years since I began taking that small, white pill, and I’m so thankful everyday I did.

• A side effect of therapy I didn’t expect was that the weight of burdens and secrets I had been carrying around for years lifted since I was no longer carrying them alone. Often, we don’t realize how our deepest feelings and thoughts can impact our every day. Now, imagine if these deeply held feelings and thoughts are actually skewed versions of the truth. How dangerous is it having distorted thoughts so heavily impacting our life experiences?!

NOT BY BREAD ALONE

Therapy and medication have become essential pillars in my current mental wellness toolkit, but they are not enough on their own. Just like when you're sick, you may need to see a doctor and get an antibiotic, but there are so many other measures to ensure you recover fully and well.

Some of my other tools include intentional, personalized self-care; learned, healthy coping mechanisms; knowing myself and understanding my triggers; and recently, as suggested by my psychiatrist, CBD.

Yes, I still struggle almost daily with my mental health in one way or another, but now I have a growing list tools and resources to live with my mental illness instead of just surviving life under its weight.

THE NEVER-ENDING JOURNEY

Embracing the idea that mental wellness is not a finite goal to achieve or a destination to reach is crucial to growth. Wellness - of not just our mind, but our whole self - is a never-ending journey. Each intentional action we make, each day we decide to try again is movement in the right direction. Each step teaches us what works and what doesn’t; gives us insight into ourselves; and informs our future choices.

But we don’t have to take on the journey alone. I’m so thankful to have found a support system, both amongst my existing community, and the one comprised of mental and physical health professionals. It brings me such comfort to know there are people on my side supporting me, cheering me on, and want nothing but the best for me.

IT’S TIME

Now that I’ve shared my story, I invite you to take a step and share your own. Remember, mutual emotion is powerful, and it just takes one act of honesty, openness, and vulnerability to make it possible. Confide in a friend, post a glimpse on social, join a mental wellness community, chat with a therapist… at the very least, send me an email. I love hearing the stories and perspectives of the people around me, and would be honored to learn yours.

Your story doesn’t need to involve big epiphanies or major milestones. It can be as simple as revealing a deep fear or insecurity, celebrating a successful act of self-care, or telling the moment you found light while in a dark place. You may be surprised who discloses a similar life experience. When we share both the struggles and the victories of our life, that’s when mutual emotion thrives.

That’s when we know we are never truly alone.

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