DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Everything I share is information gained through personal experience, professional help, and outside resources. It is your own personal responsibility to seek professional help and advice before implementing any life-altering practices. Everyone's mental health journey looks different. My story is just one of millions. If you are feeling lost, scared, alone, concerned, or just not right, I encourage you to connect with a mental health professional. Don't wait until it becomes a crisis.

humans complicate things

Why do we as humans always feel the need to complicate things? Is it because we want the best outcome? We want to plan for every possible issue or hindrance? Is it a viscous cycle: we overwork and analyze things because we see other humans doing the same, because they saw other humans complicating things too?

In my journey with anxiety, I awakened to the piece of my personality that always wants to add layers of complexity to everything. I want it to be the best. I want people to see whatever it is I’m working on or have a part in and say, “Wow, look how detailed Becky was. She thought of everything.” I want it to be perfect because that’s what people have always expected me to be (and yes, I’ve already dismantled this thought in therapy.)

I also tend to get carried away with over-the-top planning, especially when it comes to events I’ve organized, business I’ve considered starting, and literally absolutely anything with a theme (I’m a sucker for a good themed event. And if it includes costumes, there’s no pulling me back).

Simplicity brings freedom

However, through these recent years, I’ve learned - and had to train myself - to simplify, well, almost everything. There are times when complex layers and processes are necessary (i.e. checks-and-balances of government, battling deadly diseases), but in most things, simplicity is key. I found that when I stripped something to its core, there was freedom there. Freedom from overthinking; freedom from the fear of missing something; freedom from unreached expectations.

When I began to simplify, to reach back to the most basic, purest form, I also found freedom from the fear of failure. I saw that it was ok to go with the flow of life instead of planning every moment. I found how much beauty can be lost when we over-complicate things, and how much good I had been overlooking.

Simplifying allows for the little things in nature to be noticed; small moments of interaction to be valued; plans for the future to be more easily attained.

Simplifying Self-Care

Keeping things simple should also weave its way through your self-care practices. In years past, I always looked at self-care as another habit to be formed, yet another block to be scheduled, complicated activities to plan for. Once the lightbulb clicked on over my head, I realized the self-care practices don’t have to be complicated, they just have to be intentional.

Let me state once more, clearly and to the point:

Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. Self-care shouldn’t be complicated. It only needs to be intentional.

When we complicate self-care, it lays the foundation for it to become overwhelming. We may come to see it as a chore to be checked-off or maybe even something we come to dread. Simplifying self-care keeps our practices within reach - preventing anxiety, lowering the barrier to entry, wiping-out excuses, and dismantling the fear of failure. It sets us up with achievable goals and tasks, giving us space to treat ourselves with grace and forgiveness.

Complicated vs. Simplified Self-Care

What does simplifying self-care look like?

COMPLICATED: Sudden diet overhauls or “quitting sugar” cold turkey.

SIMPLIFIED: Remove one unhealthy food or add one nutritious food to every meal. And forgive yourself if you stress eat a second bowl of ice cream.

COMPLICATED: Schedule yoga at a studio 20 minutes away. Buy and store a $30 mat. Find the perfect outfit so you look “legit.”

SIMPLIFIED: Grab a towel, find a 10 to 20-minute yoga practice on YouTube, and do it in your living room wearing last night's pajamas.

COMPLICATED: Make a special trip to the store to purchase 15 different specific ingredients. Order the perfect reusable travel mug with reusable straw. Loose 30 minutes of all-too-important sleep to craft the latest hydrating smoothie trend.

SIMPLIFIED: Grab any bottle or cup, and drink the amount of water your body needs to operate optimally.

At the surface, there is nothing wrong a motivated change in diet, practicing yoga at a studio, or trendy smoothies - they may even hold unique benefits. However, complicating practices, especially when trying to form a self-care habit, can set us up for failure. They can create stress and anxiety around that practice, making it null and void. Simplifying self-care allows the benefits and true purpose of practices impact us in their purest forms.

Simplicity Challenge

I challenge you this week to simplify one thing in your life. It can be a self-care practice or anything else you’ve unknowingly complicated. Strip it to its purest form, and take notice if you see and feel a difference.

Remember: self-care shouldn’t be complicated. It only needs to be intentional.

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