Protecting Our Time
Photo by Alex Perez on Unsplash
DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical or mental health professional. Everything I share is information gained through personal experience, professional help, and outside resources. It is your own personal responsibility to seek professional help and advice before implementing any life-altering practices. Everyone's mental health journey looks different. My story is just one of millions. If you are feeling lost, scared, alone, concerned, or just not right, I encourage you to connect with a mental health professional. Don't wait until it becomes a crisis.
Another Failed Attempt
Let’s talk about the b-word… “Busy.”
I’ve heard “I’m just so busy,” “my schedule is packed,” “I just can’t take on anymore” way too many times over the last few weeks, all with burnout echoing in their voice.
What I feared so many months ago for our family is happening once again. During the course of the pandemic, our schedule slowed down, almost to a stop. Obviously, this came about as a result of a tragic and terrifying time, but after acknowledging that, we were able to experience life at a much more sustainable and freeing pace.
I promised myself then, as I’m sure many did, I would never allow our family’s calendar to look like it did pre-2020.
*sigh*
Annnd shocker, we fell right back into where we left off. How did this happen? How did I allow this craziness to creep back into my family’s life?
It all comes down to this: I didn’t fiercely protect our time. So many times I’ve thought, “I need to do this, so I’ll squeeze it in here,” or “Oh, that could be fun, and we’re available!” As time moves along, and each scheduled box on my calendar approaches, I think of the promise I made during that slow-paced chapter and just shake my head.
A NECESSARY, BUT MANAGEABLE EVIL
There are times in our life when busyness is just a part of our existence and cannot be avoided:
A very important, long-awaited meeting is finally scheduled with your child’s school; your husband is scheduled for surgery and emotionally recovery; and your doctor sends you for testing... Not to mention all this scheduled around regular responsibilities, appointments and events already on your calendar for months.
This is what my life looks like this week. And honestly, I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed, paralyzed, and that I wasn’t going to make it out of the week without a mental collapse and meltdown.
Yes, even the woman who cries “self-care and mental wellness for all” doesn’t have her shit together. But knowing how important something is and being perfect at it are two very different things.
Did I wake up this morning a mess, shaking, irritable, on-edge and fearing my calendar for the week? Yep. Do I feel the same way now? No. No, surprisingly I don’t.
Perhaps that’s because I reminded myself to take one task, scheduled to-do at a time. Maybe it’s because I marked three big things off my list today. Letting my daughter cyber-school at my mom’s, leaving a quiet house contributed. And I’m sure time spent in a e-meeting with two amazing women, then a five-minute yoga routine while my lunch cooked didn’t hurt anything either.
TIME TO GET RUTHLESS WITH OUR TIME
When we find ourselves in times of overwhelming busyness - whether through poor planning or inevitable circumstances - we need to become ruthless with our schedule and consider the true value our time has.
Taking this approach is going to be very difficult at times, and you may have to make sacrifices and deal with awkward situations in the face of having to cancel plans or step back from previous commitments.
However, it’s times like these putting ourselves and mental wellness has to come first. We need to be able to mindfully audit our time in the present and future, and consider if each item on our agenda will give us energy or drain us of it. We have to learn to find a balance of both. Some items draining us of energy are unavoidable, but we need to be intentional about including activities that will fill us back up. If not, we are bound to face burnout.
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
Like peanut butter and jelly, “busyness” and “burnout” go hand-in-hand, and I could see the crisis looming on the horizon over the last few weeks.
I realized I kept using or giving energy without consciously following-up with renewal. But as I sit here, feeling some relief from the stress and overwhelm, I’m reminded why intentionally choosing self-care and not letting it happen by chance is so important.
I’ll be going back to my list of tools and practices each day this week and choosing what I need in this time. I will be aware of my “tank level,” by regularly checking-in with myself throughout each day, asking myself what I need and making it a priority.
Will I get the draining/refueling balance just right? Will I make the best decisions for me while caring for my family? Will I fail miserably anyway and burnout in the end?
Only time will tell, but you can be sure I’m going to try my freakin’ hardest - for my family and myself.
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